and this from: Ellen Redbird @ pyriformpress


Hi, kari. I'm with you. I think we already have a "separate but equal"
environment--but only at best in a few regions. Mostly queers are not only separate but also not equal at all. And even if this ban on same-sex marriage is not worded to be a direct attack on other disadvantaged groups--ethnic, ability, etc.--it does attack all groups, and at the very least, in one case, quite directly. My U.S.-born, male-classified friend cannot legally marry his male-classified partner who is from Mexico. There is always the threat of being separated because of the partner's not being a citizen. Therefore, I say that the ban on same-sex marriage is also a racist attack. I'm sure other cases could be made.

Sometimes people talk about same-sex marriage in terms of it being just a copy of a patriarchal model of ownership. I don't have anything against a marriage that considers the partners equal. But actually, I would like to expand marriage to mean family building. I don't mean the traditional two parents and kids model. I mean that I want to be able to say, "Out of love for these several people, I would like us to be a family--to have the rights of access to each other in the hospital, to share health benefits, to be able to adopt and co-parent if we choose (plus, I think children should have more rights), to grant citizenship to those from countries other than the one they reside in, to be given all the rights that couples have. This doesn't necessarily mean that all members of the marriage family are romantically involved (though why not, if adults?)--they just choose to be there for each other in any way they define and have that recognized and protected by the law. And gender/sex/orientation would have no place to land in such a family. It could not limit anything. But before something that radical could ever come to be, I think there has to be the idea that at least any couple can marry, regardless of the rigid classifications thrust upon them.

I admit that I haven't done much activism lately. I actively protested prop 22 a few years back, but then felt like the wind got knocked out of me. If writers can do something through writing, then maybe a group of us should organize and collaborate around this issue.