To Rick, With Love
By Michael Blanding, AlterNet.
Dear Sen. Santorum,
On behalf of the depraved, morally relativistic citizenry of Boston, I just wanted to thank you for finally giving us the credit that we deserve. In fact, I was just taking a break from some man-on-dog sex with my Weimaraner, Hank, when I read your comments about our moral cesspit of a city. You called Boston a sick culture that sanctions alternative lifestyles, and said it was no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political, and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm of the Catholic priest child sex abuse scandal of a few years back.
Honestly, I admire someone with the guts to finally expose the Athens of America for the modern-day Gomorrah that it really is. That pussy, Dick Armey, actually apologized after his slip of the tongue before the Democratic National Convention, when he said that if he were a Democrat he'd feel more comfortable having a convention in Boston, than say, America. Even our own governor, presidential opportunist Mitt Romney, softened his tone after taking heat for criticizing Massachusetts on gay marriage during a recent swing through South Carolina.